147. 209. Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying. The only power you have is the word no. 45. I dont think thats a coincidence., 3. So with that being said, heres a list of funny affirmations to motivate you to come out of your comedic shell. Its scary when it disappears. Why did the school kids eat their homework? Ted Turner. Im not lazy, Im on power saving mode. Things are getting better all the time. It's why you may feel excinervous (aka excited and nervous at the same time). 105. 1. 248. Whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? These affirmations are funny, humorous, witty and sarcastic for work, friends, family, mom, to boost your self-esteem, confidence and strength. I dont need validation from others to know Im killing it. Flip Wilson avoid carbs. Is it perfect? Its okay, he woke up. You can use affirmations to alleviate pressure in highly stressful scenarios, like taking an exam or going to a job interview. I believed in Santa Claus for 10 years. Because if you can put a smile on your face with a little humor, I guarantee that youll feel some weight come off your shoulders.f. Whoever said great things come in small packages hasnt seen my big screen TV. 10. - Bette Midler. 236. I will tell the negative voice inside my head to shut up. Steven Wright, 252. I focus on breathing and grounding myself. Steve Martin, 254. Frances McDormand, 42. 18. Send me the link. 1. I am adventurous. If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. How can you not like someone who can make you laugh? We have a connection. "In life only one thing is certain, Friday will come.". I am lazy till I get a motive. Sincerely, the floor. 192. Im like a postage stamp. Dont give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer. Those who snore always fall asleep first. 2. Let me gather my thoughts and crush this Monday., 15. I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? 62. Have a look! Today is a great day. I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. 105. Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late. 272. 100 Funny Christmas Quotes. Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake. Why cant you trust an atom? "I make people laugh, whether it's with me or at me.". We get so worried about being pretty lets be pretty kind, pretty funny, pretty smart, pretty strong., 9. Your eyes water when you yawn, because you miss your bed and it makes you sad. 215. Chop your own wood. 261. Since not all of us are blessed with the ability to throw a joke the right way, we thought of helping you out by giving you these ridiculously short funny quotes. Dont forget to check out our post onlove yourself quotesandvision board quotesto attract positivity in your life. I feel great. Im sorry, but thats just the way I am. The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Bill Murray, 260. I am feeling wittier and more naturally funny. Because someone is always sitting on the deck. It has many of the same goals as affirmations, as theyre both associated with positivity and happiness. I am grateful for the healing power of humor. 2. I am happy and joyful. 2. What we say not only affects our lives but also has an impact on those around us. 265. Jonathan lockwood huie. 1. Yeah, so is a grenade. 250. I really should do something with my life, maybe tomorrow. Not everyone has to like me. I sometimes might be too much, but I am always enough. 278. And, it doesnt have to be hard or complicated! If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. Pardon me, I have 6 pounds of boneless mass to get rid of. We may speak different languages, but we all laugh the same. Im not running away from hard work, Im too lazy to run. Today, I acknowledge the time I have spent over the week. No matter how bad it gets, Im always rich when I go to the dollar store. 175. - Christopher Reeve. 276. 52. Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning. - George Burns. Finding humor in a difficult situation helps me win. My wife and I were happy for 20 years, then we met. 28. 4. They make you change without hurting your self-esteem. If the funny affirmations that Ive put together dont break your cool, then feel free to throw on a comedy special on Netflix or Youtube when you feel stressed. I try to see the funny side of every situation., 3. People say you cant live without love, but I think oxygen is more important. I dont know how to act my age because Ive never been this old before. 102. Whatever the case may be, these 15 affirmations will make you feel confident in your sense of humor: Once youre feeling happy and confident about your sense of humor, use these 35 affirmations to navigate challenging situations with a smile. Discover short videos related to funny affirmations on TikTok. 219. Never test how deep the water is with both feet. (John 14:27) 27. 212. In the morning, I cant get up. I never apologize. Quotes that make no sense Photo: pexels.com (modified by author) Source: UGC. I dont think thats a coincidence. A wishbone. 177. Today I will embrace the poop., 7. 20. Happy Birthday.". 100. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. 43. Breasts dont have eyes. 242. Yes, of course, I am athletic, I surf the Internet every day. When and How to Let Them Know, How To Cheer Yourself Up When Feeling Down, 5 Things To Discuss With Your Partner Before Marriage, Funny Positive Affirmations For Self-Esteem, 50+ Powerful Positive Affirmations For Exams, 70+ Positive Affirmations For Teens From Parents. Good morning! My dream job would be the Karma delivery service. Actually, you dont have to imagine. grateful. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? I may stumble along the way, but I will get over it. 25. 40 Apology Paragraph For Her To Say Im Sorry, 80 Cute Relationship Quotes For Sweet Couples In Love, 50 Doubt In Relationship Quotes To Rebuild Trust, 75 Sad Broken Relationship Quotes To Fix Your Heartbreak, 70 Relationship Honesty Quotes On Love, Trust & Loyalty, 80 Relationship Sorry Quotes To Apologize To Your Love, 65 Disney Quotes About Family That Will Warm Your Heart, 90 Best Shrek Quotes From The Funny Ogre Movie, 80 Blended Family Quotes To Share With Your Loved Ones, 90 Female Fitness Quotes For Women Who Workout. 218. I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case were having cake. 41. Today Im going to reach for the stars so that I can air out my armpits. 183. 53. 20. The following is the list of some humorous affirmations for you: I am doing all the amazing things because I am an amazing human being. 126. If you see affirmations that say " I will, " " I used to, " or " I'm going to, " then this is NOT an affirmation. I love myself, which is why I dont need to love the idea of other people loving me., 12. 4. 249. Of course, I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice. Im in desperate need of a 6-month vacation, twice a year. 66. I am lazier after accomplishing the motive. 121. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. Sorry, I didnt pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone. The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. 214. 189. I am Ananya, a professional speaker and I love motivating people and inspiring them to pursue their dreams. Ive made it from the bed to the couch. 94. Never forget that broken crayons can also color. Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. I wonder, do we lazy people go to heaven or do they send someone to pick us up? I heard a great joke about amnesia but I forgot it. 176. 259. Giving up on myself because of one setback is like slashing my other three tires because one is flat. 169. I tried, but they wanted cash. People say you cant live without love, but I think oxygen is more important. 161. 90. 226. 76. Read the first word again. I walk in the direction of what feels good for my soul. No, but April may. The rest are too expensive. 96. I am capable of eating a family-sized bag of chips. I said yes, which turned out to be the right answer. Benjamin Franklin Here are some tips on how to make the most of using these humorous affirmations: Laughter and affirmations are already powerful separately, so imagine what they can do for you when combined. - Unkmown. Today, I choose to put on my positive pants. Wouldnt exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them? They planet. 155. Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there. But it'll move up again.". It will warm you twice unknown. What do computers eat for a snack? At night, I cant fall asleep. 224. You were too lazy to read that number. I enjoy every minute of it. 232. "May your yoga pants be stretchy, your coffee be strong and your Wednesday be short.". I didnt mean to push all your buttons, I was just looking for the mute button. [click_to_tweet tweet="Things are getting better all the time" quote="Things are getting better all the time" theme="style4] What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? 208. 21. I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays. Remember: Dont Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. 63. Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool. So put on your favorite song, take a deep breath, and say these affirmations during your next tough time for some much-needed positivity! Rodney Dangerfield. Alison Boulter 8. 207. 7. 16. 89. Good morning! Life would be tragic if it werent funny too. As you can see, laughter is already a powerful tool on its own. I did not trip and fall. Because seven ate nine. 101. [click_to_tweet tweet=I can always think of something funny to say. quote=I can always think of something funny to say. theme=style4], 2023 Oldtown Publishing LLC 479 State Route 17 N Some people are like clouds. East. 247. Laughter also has a social aspect, as its the perfect way to bond with people. Mental Style Project has been created as an outlet to guide you as you navigate through life, with the right tools and resources that will upgrade your life, enable you to take charge of your personal growth, and improve your wellness journey. 114. If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. Affirmations can be written in a journal, spoken out loud, or visualized as a conversation between you and money. 178. I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge. 92. Read next: 45 Self-Compassion Affirmations to Practice when Feeling Low. 3. I only check my voicemail to get rid of the annoying little icon. As I become responsible, I have got more powers. With time, I have started to value more time. 54. Im not arguing, Im just telling you why youre wrong. Repeat the affirmation as many times as you see fit. Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place, the fridge. This is the beauty of funny affirmations. Take a look! We frequently doubt ourselves. He who wakes up early, yawns all day long. 153. You know you are lazy when you get excited about canceling your plans. Im describing you. They say dont try this at home so Im coming over to your house to try it. I am grateful for that time. I hope you have a ridiculously amazing day. Dont worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. 65. These 50 funny affirmations will help you feel better about yourself while keeping a wide smile on your face. Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. 174. I am healthy, I am wealthy, I am hot!, 14. East Life is always easier with some humor, smiles, laughter and fun. Today, I look at my goals. Infographic: What is the Ultimate Commitment. My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them. First, read the most powerful affirmations below to build a strong mind. Take a dose of encouragement from your positive affirmations whenever youre feeling down. And get over it. I see the funny side of life more and more. Why is England the wettest country? Self-love is the greatest middle finger of all time., See also: 210 Killer Self Love Captions For Instagram To Lift You Up. Here, we are listing down some awesome funny positive affirmations that will bring out serious positive changes in you. Trust me, your secrets are safe with me and all of my friends. 186. You cant have everything, where would you put it? The library, because it has so many stories. Or maybe, you just love cracking jokes and making people laugh. We have divided these daily funny affirmations in these sections; Also check out our post ondaily affirmations for womenandaffirmations for menthat can help you to feel motivated and reshape your limiting beliefs. These little phrases can be said aloud or written down anywhere to remind yourself that everything will turn out okay. I dont need a psychologist to dig into my personal life and ask me about all of my secrets, thats what my friends are for! I cant make everyone happy, Im not tequila. Why did the can crusher quit his job? Go to bed with satisfaction.". Its called tomorrow. "Disconnect to connect.". A perfectly executed joke, said at a right time and at a right place, can change an awkward situation into a comfortable one. Even on my worst day, Ive still got 24 hours., 6. 219. Make it inspiring. If Cinderellas shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? Erma Bombeck. I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge.
Bloomberg Customer Support Representative,
Garza High School Staff,
Articles S